Note from the author: This is part of my daily account of what happened in the True Life Retreat last November 29 to December 1. This is my Day 2 you may read my previous entry here
I wasn’t really expecting too many concerns when the day started because I knew that most of the things we needed to do and fix were already done on the first day. I really looked forward to this day because I expected it to be more relaxed and plus, I was looking forward to the chance to fellowship with other people. I wasn’t planning to go to dawn watch because I wanted to rest and sleep. But somehow, I woke up and was lead to still attend it. I fixed my hair and immediately went to the obstacle course. Yes, you read it right. I just fixed my hair and didn’t take a bath. Haha. That’s what most men do and there was a time scheduled for wash-up after dawn watch and breakfast anyway. After hearing KC’s message, I took a guitar and played it while wandering around the field and just had a wonderful time with the Lord. I walked around the field, strumming and plucking the guitar while praying to God for everything that will be happening throughout the day.
Message 3 was scheduled to start at 10am and Pastor Joby delivered such a wonderful message about the cross. He was able to clearly show the suffering that Jesus Christ endured for our sins. Everyone was in tears as they realized just how much Jesus Christ loves them and the reason why He died for them. Tita Cindy even shared her testimony which was very applicable to singles and young adults. I am truly blessed by their ministry. Pastor Joby and Tita Cindy are people I really look up to. They are my role models. I want to be able to minister and shepherd people just like Pastor Joby and I am looking for a partner in life who complements and supports my ministry just like how Tita Cindy supports her husband. It was a joy to spend time and fellowship with them over lunch. I am truly grateful that they are always asking me how they can better support the Singles ministry. Their encouragement and love can truly be felt and I am always grateful for that.
After the morning session, we had lunch, then message 4, breakout and then True Moments. I was assigned to be a Marshall at the most exciting station in the game – True Friends. It was so exciting that my only responsibility was to take a picture of each group from the tree house. Of course, I am exaggerating when I said it was exciting. Haha. Although I have to say that the view from the tree house was perfect as it gave me the chance to see how each individual can be very competitive and how the different groups tried to work as a team. As I expected, Day 2 seemed like a fun and relaxing day for me. But the day hasn’t ended yet.
When dinner was finished and everyone was able to wash-up, the next scheduled activity was a group workshop called True Access and everyone was asked to gather in front of the main hall. Honestly, it was hard to do crowd control but with God’s help, we were able to gather everyone in that small area between the main and mess hall. Nano started to speak and I felt relieved that the program was going according to plan. During the activity, I slipped to the back, took a seat and prayed. Somehow, I felt very frustrated. I felt that we weren’t doing a good job on keeping the program on schedule and the crowd wasn’t being controlled or managed properly. I am not pointing out to any group or person but for me, this is one of the major points for improvement that we need to take note of. I prayed and asked God to help me continue to respond well in the situation. I was just asking God to continue to give me that strength to push on and serve no matter what the circumstances are. I went back to the activity and after a couple of minutes, it started to drizzle. I was already alarmed, but praying that it will not get stronger. A large part of the group was already under a big tree so I was hoping that the leaves and branches would somehow help cover them from the rain. I moved to an open area where I would be able to feel if the rain was getting stronger. I was praying to God to not allow a downpour. Lots of thoughts were already going inside my head. What will we do if we couldn’t finish the program? Where will we continue the activity? What if it suddenly rains hard and everyone gets wet? What if a lot of people get sick because of this? In the end, I was thinking about all of these things because I knew I was accountable for this. I approved the activity being held outside despite the fact that the weather had become unpredictable since the participants arrived. I know this is under my responsibility. With this experience, I suddenly realized that my decisions for the ministry are really crucial. I cannot just say “yes” all the time, I need to think how this will benefit everyone and how this will affect the whole ministry. It is truly a big responsibility. But it is a responsibility that I am willing to carry. Not because I feel confident I can, but because I firmly believe that it is what God has called me to do. Honestly, I have never felt capable and have sometimes felt scared to lead. But the Lord has always assured me that He is with me and just like what he has been telling me this whole time, He is always faithful. It is His ministry not mine. By God’s grace, the rain did not intensify and the activity finished without the message being disrupted.
When everyone started going into the main hall for the worship night, the band that was supposed to be playing was still incomplete. It took around 15 minutes before they started.Everyone was becoming restless and some were even going back to their cabins already. I started to worry and become frustrated again. I know it was properly communicated that praise and worship should start while people were entering the main hall. I looked for those who were missing in the band and somehow God was telling me to voice out my concern properly to those who were missing and extend grace to them. I calmly spoke to them to immediately go to the main hall and I praise God that I did not do anything that could have ruined my testimony. I felt God was telling me to calm down, speak to them and refrain from getting mad because this might lead them to suddenly lose their focus. I was prodded to address the concern after. When the praise & worship started, I again withdrew from the activity and went to my favorite quiet place to pray. I felt very frustrated and it was hard for me to worship during that time. I prayed and asked forgiveness for worrying and not trusting Him. I tried composing myself again and in prayer, just asked God to help me let go of my frustration because my worship should not be dependent on the situation but on who God is. I went back to the main hall and joined the worship and once again, I was just blown away. With a thankful heart I just worshiped God for everything that He is doing and has done in my life. I was just filled with peace and the night became a wonderful time of worship for me.
After worship night, everyone was asked to join in the Fellowship time. I tried my best not to meddle and allow the programs team to handle this. The program was not what I expected because everyone was seated and not talking with one another. What I actually envisioned was a free flowing program where everyone can just mingle and fellowship even while there is a program going on. But still, the programs team did a great job because in the middle of the program, everyone was encouraged to stand up and start mingling. I was relieved to know that I didn’t have to do anything to make it happen and just allowed God to work. Everyone started talking to one another and meeting new people. I was able to meet new people as well and it was a good time to enjoy and fellowship with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. When the program was finished, we started cleaning up the covered court and gathered all the chairs again. When that was over, I went to my room and slept.
I have to be honest that I wasn’t expecting all those concerns that happened during True Access and True Worship. In everything that happens, there is always that one lesson for me that I am hoping to apply whenever things get out of control – do not panic. What happened throughout the day really helped me realize that I should learn how to calmly handle things even when there are a lot of things that are out of control. That is my natural tendency – to start looking for the solution to the problem without first thinking if that is a real problem that needs to be addressed. I’m just so grateful that in all those times I felt frustrated, God was there to calm my heart down and assure me that He is in control. I might have lost all my hair if God wasn’t with me. Hehe.
I believe Day 2 ended well for me. I may have lost my composure but praise God that through Him, I was able to be at peace again and I learned to trust him throughout. And I do not know if you remember what I wrote before in my B1G8 experience regarding that great ending to a hopeful love story. Well, this time… there isn’t any love story! Haha. I am still waiting for His perfect timing in everything, and no matter what, I will always give thanks! Praise the Lord for what He has done.
The second day of the True Life Singles Retreat has just ended and here is what happened during the last day in the retreat.