It’s been two months since I posted the first of part of this series. I know some of you were anticipating the second entry. Again, there were so many panel questions we weren’t able to answer during our Biblical manhood and womanhood series. This entry is meant to continue that topic.
Hi! It has been said men should step up. Could you expound more on what stepping up is and what it means?
I have seen single men who are passive. It breaks my heart because I see so much potential in them, but they don’t want to step up. When I say “step up,” it means being more involved in the context of ministry. I want them not to be scared of volunteering, taking a leadership position, and preaching the Gospel if they have to. It also means doing what God wants them to do even if that might result in failure along the way.
For example a lot of men need to share the gospel and disciple other men, they need to obey God’s commission to make disciples and evangelize. They cannot allow their fear of failure to hinder them from building their own DGroup and spreading the Good News.
A lot of men don’t step up because they’re scared of failure. They have to accept the possibility that they might fail along the way. Not that they want to, but as imperfect human beings, we are prone to mistakes. It’s not about making mistakes or failing. It’s how you come back strong that will define your character and leadership.
So men, step up. Don’t be scared to lead, fail, and not know everything before doing so. Be scared of being passive and disobedient to God’s direction in your life.
How do you make sure that your single life is maximized for the Lord?
Whenever I hear this question, I always think about what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:34.
“…and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”
So to maximizing your single life to the Lord is being undivided in your devotion to Him. This means while you’re a single individual, you will make the most out of your time to focus on Him and what He wants you to do. You have the luxury of time, so go and attend as many conferences, seminars, and Bible studies that you can. You are free from serious commitment, so serve God as well. Serve in a ministry. Build your discipleship group. Go to different mission trips. The insight here is: Spend your time on activities that have eternal value.
What if you see your preferences in a girl who goes to the same church (Connect)? How would you respond?
Don’t be aggressive and carried away by your emotions. First pray, then observe. Observe how that girl serves the Lord, how that girl worships the Lord, how that girl studies God’s word, how that girl relate to other people, and that girl’s lifestyle. In time, combined with prayer and the blessing of your parents, DGroup leader, and other related mentors, look for opportunities to know her more in a group setting (refer to my answer in the first question about group settings).
Then when everything seems to be clear, and you sense this might be the person that God wants you to pursue, ask your mentors what the next steps are. Just ensure that you are covered with lots of prayer and accountability.
How should a godly man respond to a girl that made up a story about him?
First of all, how did the news come to you? Did you have a friend that said this is happening in their DGroup? Or did you personally see and hear the girl gossiping to her DGroup about you? If you personally saw and heard that happening, you have to confront that individual. You should rebuke the individual in a loving way. You can politely butt in and say, “Pardon me, I overheard your discussion but that is not actually what happened…” Then you explain what actually happen or say the real story. Then ask the person who was telling the wrong story why she is sharing something untrue from what actually happened.
Your objective is not to embarrass her in front of her friends, but to understand her heart and what led her to do this.
But, if this is news you heard from a second- or third-hand source, it may not be wise to confront the individual. One thing you can do is pray for that person. Another thing you can do is to respond in a godly way. Do not be affected by this gossip since they are sharing a wrong story about you. You know the truth. There’s no need to worry if you really know that you did nothing wrong. Allow your life and your actions to speak the truth. If you do that and you are above reproach, whatever people negatively say about you will not be accepted by others because they’ve seen the real you. Pray and surrender this to the Lord. Allow your godly actions to speak louder than ungodly, untruthful words.
There are a couple of more questions to answer which will be tackled in the third and final entry. Thank you for your patience. Again, if you have anything that you want to share, just leave a comment below. I like hearing from you. God bless!