Recently, we concluded our series entitled, “His Man and His Woman.” It was a series talking about Biblical manhood and womanhood. We concluded our series by separating the men from the women and having a Q&A per group.
It was really fun to be a panelist and answer questions men have about contemporary relationship issues. We weren’t able to answer all the questions, so I decided to answer them in my blog. I hope everyone finds this information full of insight and wisdom.
Is it okay to invite a girl to go out? The invitation is to get to know her more.
I normally advice singles to go out as a group if they want to know more about a specific person. Why? Because in a group setting, the person doesn’t put his or her best foot forward. If it’s an intimate date, of course a person would try to impress. But in a group setting you would most probably know who the person really is – what she likes, dislikes, her good side and bad side as well.
Then, when you get to know the person in a group setting, pray, seek advice from Godly leaders, and if you sense God is leading you to know the person even more, then that’s the time to ask her to go out. Not immediately inviting the person to go out will give you more time to pray and objectively seek what is in your heart. You don’t want to be overcome by your emotions or even let emotions cloud your judgement. For example, if you suddenly invited her out, then during the date you suddenly see something you don’t like. If you decide not to have another date, this might hurt the other party and you don’t want that to happen. You want to protect your sister in Christ.
In a group setting, the person is who she really is and most probably you will see something there you don’t like in the person. Then when you see that, you can now observe if you still want to get to know her beyond platonic friendship….
How do you identify that a person is a potential suitable helper to the calling that God want her to be?
Let’s first discuss that word “calling” because there are callings that are applicable to everyone, and there is a calling specific to you.
For example, everyone is called to make disciples or everyone is called to serve God. Now, since you are called to make disciples, who would be a suitable helper for you? Most probably it is someone who believes and accepts that she or he is also called to make disciples, too, since it is the calling of every believer. That’s why the Bible tells us not to unequally yolk with unbelievers. So if you want to find a suitable helper or partner, she should be someone of the same faith.
Now let’s talk about specific calling. This is unique with everyone. For example, let me use my personal situation: My specific calling is to lead the singles ministry of the CCF Alabang. That is unique to me. No one else has been assigned to that role. Now, I should think, based on my specific calling, who is the best partner for me? Most probably it is someone who is also passionate in serving the singles as well. This should be someone who is willing to accept that her family’s life will be open to the public and supports the ministry of her husband. That is why one absolute requirement for me is she should serve in the same ministry as I.
But this is using my situation as an example. That’s why you should pray for God to reveal what He specifically wants you to do in life whether it’s become a pastor,
corporate executive, business man, entrepreneur, philanthropist, etc..
My simple advice regarding the best helper or partner for you is to look for someone who not only loves and serves the Lord Jesus Christ, but also shows Christlikeness in her actions. You’ll never go wrong with a Godly woman.
There are still other questions to be answered. I will tackle them in my next blog post. If you have anything that you want to share just leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you. God bless!